It doesn’t make sense
I don’t know how many times some well-meaning christian has said something to me along the lines of “but God has used your experience of abuse to bring good out of evil”. And the “good” has usually been identified as one of the following: 1) it made you stronger, 2) your website is a great good, 3) your action has changed the way the church deals with abuse allegations… or something like that.
But what those things really mean, albeit often unconsciously for those who say them, is an attempt to make some kind of sense of what happened to me. And many christians feel the need to make sense of abuse because there’s no other way of accounting for such evil being done while god is in control of the world. But the cold harsh reality is that abuse doesn’t make sense. And attempts to rationalise it as somehow part of god’s unfathomable plan simply don’t make sense either. If god was really so great, and so much out for our good, then s/he could bring good without such evil being necessary first. Far better to see and acknowledge abuse as it is – an act of wanton aggression (once or many times) perpetrated on a defenceless victim.
In my opinion, seeking to make sense of it actually violates the enormity of the abomination it is.